Monday, August 15, 2005
psychology.
it's scary to see seemingly good natured people turning sinister, abandoning all moral teachings imbued in them since young, and succumbing to their darker side.yes, i'm disappointed again. this time with the certain people around me.
im ashamed to say that, we humans, are quite an unpredicatable and psychotic lot such that we relish in seeing others, our own peers, suffer being humiliated unknowingly or being taunted in a very gangster-ish sort of way. i hate it.
i couldn't do anything about it. well, in a way, i could only look upon seeing others suffer this ill-treatment without daring to say a word for fear of offending certain people whom im quite ashamed to be of aquaintance to them. and that, makes me one of them as well, an accomplice since by not saying anything against i'm indirectly on their side. i hate it. this sickening guilty feeling inside, yet i'm not exactly guilty since i know for one, that i do have a conscience, and it was thoroughly pricked, and i even winced while seeing the harsh treatment that these peers had to go through in the name of good 'clean' fun.
its horrifying to know what sort of things a human can cocerce or threaten another human being to do. thing is, such sinister and evil behaviour tends to worsen in a group; somehow being in a group makes one more prone to turn to this dark side as we crave for others' approval and attention. making someone 'suffer' while seeing the rest of the group being entertained (...) gives some sort of weird satisfaction to one and we tend to continue or even go way overboard because of this flawed nature of ours.. that is, we are social creatures.
gimme a game of chess or a 1000 paged novel anytime over such good 'clean' fun.
this reminds me of that experiment on human psyche that was carried out at some famous uni years back, about a group of students divided into master and slave, where the 'slaves' were under the total control of their 'masters' who were none other than their own classmates.
i'd have chosen out if i had known what we, as seniors were trying to execute eventually.
and i am truly sorry, for the few times when i actually joined these people in laughing at certain silly acts of those who were under the harsh and uncalled for treatment. i really am. although most of you had been a very good sport, tolerating such terrible behaviour from so-called friends, i still feel the need to apologise on bahalf of all those who can't see a thing thats wrong with what we had been doing.
now i know the extent of how cruel, sinister, and horrible people can become... even seemingly good, friendly and nice people. this is so hypocritical.
and i suppose this gives me another good reason to shift out since i don't think i'd be able to befriend these people without a jaundiced eye.
sarah at 11:14 pm